We get it, finding childcare can be hard. There is an ever-present need, and it can be hard for parents to find caregivers who they trust. Lots of times, parents turn to their own family to babysit their kids, and that can definitely come with some drama. Firstly, because…duh. Is there anything that doesn’t cause family drama? And secondly, because we are about to dive into a post from the “Am I The A—hole” subreddit, and you know that cesspool feeds off drama.
In the past, we’ve seen [sometimes heated] debates over whether or not grandparents should be paid for watching their grandkids. We’ve seen a dad who doesn’t want to pay his college-aged daughter for watching his younger sons. And, most recently, we’ve seen an expectant mom who was “just not comfortable” with her in-laws watching the baby.
“I️ don’t know them well though,” she said. “…Like anyone else, I️ would want to watch their interactions with my child for a while before feeling comfortable that I️ know how they would react in certain situations and learn more about how they make decisions.”
Yup, that one got messy.
The latest drama involves a sister-in-law who brings her 6-, 8-, and 10-year-olds to this Redditor‘s house when the woman’s parents can’t watch the kids. And that’s not even the worst part.
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The Foundation Of The Problem
The woman who originally posted (the “OP”) explained that she lives about a block away from her “awesome” parents who helped her buy her house. They babysit for her brother and his wife “all the time.” Whenever OP’s parents aren’t available, her SIL will bring the kids to her house since OP works from home.
“I have tried explaining repeatedly that I’m working and she refuses to understand,” OP wrote, which is a problem in and of itself. “My parents aren’t her biggest fans either but they have begged me to humor her.”
And remember, these are the “awesome” parents who helped her buy the house. “So I allow it. They are good kids and I love them. But I also don’t enforce [my SIL’s] rules on them.”
And therein lies the problem.
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A Lot To Digest
There are a lot of rules — especially around food and screen time — that OP is expected to follow. And, as an unpaid babysitter who is expected to watch the kids in her own home while she is working, it’s a lot. And so begins a hilarious tirade:
“Nope sorry, I don’t have organic fruit juice. I have Coke, Mountain Dew, and Red Bull. Or you can drink tap water,” she tells her (presumably) nieces and nephews.
“You want avocado with an egg on rye? Well, I have potato skins from Costco.”
“WTF is veggie tales? My tv has Netflix, Prime, and Disney. Watch whatever you want.”
OP’s SIL gets mad at her for “not following her rules.” OP’s brother is saying OP is being an a—hole for not just doing what he and his wife do at home.
“I told [them] I would [follow the rules] if they A. Paid me to watch their kids. And B. Supplied whatever their kids were supposed to eat, drink, and watch.”
So, she wants to know, is she the a—hole?
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The Verdict
Of course she’s not! Reddit is telling OP to stand her ground. They agree that her brother and SIL’s expectations are unreasonable, especially since they aren’t paying and (in case you forgot just like the brother and SIL seem to) OP is working!
“You gave them the perfect answer! ‘You bring what you want them to eat, you bring what you want them to watch. I am working and I am here in case of an emergency and you brought them here without my consent or permission and expect me to take work time to cook and monitor their screens? If you mention it again I will no longer be your free child care.’”
“They are choosing to continue dropping the kids off knowing what the situation is. They clearly care more about free childcare than they do about organic fruit juice.”
“[Your SIL] is already taking advantage of you. The saying goes, ‘You get what you get and you don’t get upset.’ She can send them with lunches, snacks, and drinks if she’s so concerned. This isn’t how favors work.”
“SIL and brother don’t like your lifestyle? They are free to call and pay a professional babysitter whenever they want.”
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